Every now and then her general presence became radiantly dazzling in his eyes; she would appear in the street coming toward him, a surprise, so fine and smiling and welcoming was she, so expanded and illuminated and living, in contrast with his mere expectation. No; I’m going to stick to the rules. It—it is nothing,’ she said, although with a tremor in her voice. ‘And I wouldn’t be no sort of a man if I’d heard what I heard, and gone off and left you. Where even to be a Catholic, they say, is to be looked upon with scorn and disgust. Out of all this we have struck a sort of harmony. I see that I am a beast—I beg your pardon, bête—and an imbecile, and an idiot. The immense disillusionment that awaited him! The devastating disillusionment! She had a vague desire to run after him, to state her case to him, to wring some understanding from him of what life was to her. Her sister’s words were true. Gerald began to ease forward, deciding just how he would accost her. The knowledge breathed into her heart a satisfying warmth.
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